The Power of Words Over Perception: Part 2

In my first post on this topic, I mentioned an exercise my development circle leader encouraged us to try.  She asked us to try going a few weeks without using profanity.  This post goes over a few observations I experienced during that time and since then.

Being a person who spent many years undervaluing myself, and engaging in a negative perception of who I was and how I looked, I was no stranger to profanity in both my words and thoughts, especially my thoughts about myself. I found abstaining from cursing out loud to be relatively easy.  Initially, I didn't notice much of a change in myself or the people around me by not using profanity in conversation. Over the course of a few months, however, I encountered people who used profanity all the time.  It was part of their conversation. These were people I had been friends with in the past that I fell out of touch with. I hadn't noticed their language before.

Now, I did, and it made me somewhat uncomfortable. I also began to notice that my "internal dialogue" about myself was still pretty profane. So, I tried substituting ugly names with "sweetheart" or "baby doll" as these were names paramours frequently called me that I liked. Those two nicknames made me feel good. So, whenever I found myself thinking of myself as a "jerk" or "a**hole," I'd catch it and re-think the thought with the pet names instead.  After a few months, this became habit.

After a few more months, I found that it was easier to see my positive traits, and easier to stand up for myself when someone tried to manipulate me or speak unkindly to me. I began to feel that I did not deserve that treatment. My perception of myself, and my worth as a human being, had changed. This was the result of a few changes in behavior and company I kept, but the change in my speech had definitely started the process. Today, I do not think so harshly of myself anymore. I am secure in who I am.  I am able to understand that others who do try to treat me unkindly do so more because of their own self-perception than anything they actually see in me.